Oscar Predictions (who cares)

It's that time again, when a very small percentage of Americans really, really care about what happens in Hollowwood...the percentage that LIVE in Hollowwood for that matter. Maybe the screaming, rabid fans along the red carpet at the Kodak Theatre, to be exact. For the rest of us...yawn.

However, for the sake of blogging something this late at night while trying to compose an outline for a term paper, I thought I'd try my hand at predictions. The three principles I will use is: "Being gay is like really, really, REALLY cool," "Spread the love (gay or straight, gay preferred) around so that everyone feels good," and "Don't be so obvious to let on you have a gay agenda."

So, of the two gay movies, Capote (a death penalty movie with a gay guy in it) and Brokeback Mountain (two gay cowboys), the Oscar will go to "Capote." However, Heath Ledger will get best actor for his bit in the pup tent, and Chinese person Ang Lee will get best director who directed it, which will show that Hollowwood isn't racist, even though "Crash" should have gotten some recognition from the "whities" at the Academy. BrokeBack will get the best musical "score" and best cinematography (artistic shots of the puptent). Unfortunately, Mr. Guyenhaal will not best supporting actor (that would be too obvious), besides, gay men cannot be known for that poutie-lip thing. Causes too much confusion for us straights. Angelina Jolie does a great poutie lip thing. Mr. Clooney will win, since he's a hetero-hunk.

Best actress will be Felicity Huffman in "Transamerica", the gripping story and personal triumph of a trans-sexual. Now it's sorta gay, but not really. It's a man trapped in a woman's body. Wait a minute, or was it the other way around? Uh, someone was cursed by God and got trapped in this body that had a penis, or should have had a penis. Whatever, but with a little surgery (snip, snip) and compassion (hug, hug) and acceptance (you're a people too), now it's all better. Anyway, it's a story of compassion; something we could all use more of. Right?

"Good Night and Good Luck" will get best original screenplay that will throw off those who think the Academy is uber-pro-gay. and that it STILL can land a final shot towards Mr. McCarthy, even though he's dead.

For the religion catagory, Hollowwood will honor "War of the Worlds" with best sound mix to honor the smart as a psychiatrist actor and Scientologist Tom Cruse. By the way, did he and Katie break up? I wonder if it is because since he's as smart as a gynocologist now? Maybe he tried to convince Katie that she should let him be the doctor in charge and get her to do the birth thing drug free...er, uh, for her.

Moving on. The only movie I really care about is the Best Animated Feature going to "Wallace and Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

So...does anyone want to throw in their picks? Let's make it a contest.

If I lose, I will not care in the least...except for Wallace and Gromit.