Thursday, May 18, 2006

Amazing Animal Language Discovery!!

PYOW, PYOW, PYOW.--HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK!!!

Recognize that sentence, kids? Yup, you guessed it! It's the "run like hell" command of the male Nigerian Putty-Nosed Monkey. More "scientists" have found important evolutionary clues from their infallible studies. Here's what they have to say:

The putty-nosed monkeys, Cercopithecus nictitans, of the Gashaka Gumti National Park, have two main alarm call sounds. A sound known onomatopoeically as the “pyow” warns other animals against a lurking leopard, and a cough-like sound that scientists call a “hack” is used when an eagle is hovering near by. --Timesonline, May 18, 2006

For more information of primate grammatical formations and other really important stuff, read:
PYOW HACK!! You People!!

It's one thing when a leopard comes lurking, don't we know. It's another when a leopard and an eagle come at the same time. I'd "Pyow-Hack" too, if I were a monkey!

Notice though, that "Puddy" only uses present tense verbs with the imperitive mood. Sexist simpletons! Don't they know that they may be OFFENDING the female "Puddies?" How undemocratic! You don't command people in this day and age; you inspire them, evoke a response that will encourage intrinsic motivation; you allow for input. Obviously, they need a little more evolution. It will mean something when they start using passive voice verbs to be more PC and avoid offensive commands. The female "Puddies" would appreciate it. Something like "YO! Pyow--HEY!-Hack Doan-cha-no!"--"A leopard was spotted along with an eagle. It is best if an evacuation plan were to be formulated and executed. A board meeting will be set to discuss the subject at 2pm. Your ideas will be appreciated."

Now that would be progress!!!

2 Comments:

At 4:56 PM, Blogger Shaw Kenawe said...

UL said:

More "scientists" have found important evolutionary clues from their infallible studies.

I'm sorry to tell you, Sam, that the above is a grossly ignorant statement. Very little in evolutionary science is "infallible."

Infallible is a word the Catholic Church uses when the Pope decrees something he learned from a "revelation" from a supernatural being--a disembodied entity.

Science builds upon new knowledge and when evidence shows that certain knowledge is mistaken or incomplete, it is amended.

Newtonian Mechanics was replaced by Einstein's general theory of relativity. But Newtonian Mechanics is perfectly correct within the limits of what Newton knew at the time--and it is still correct.

A billion years ago, a hydrogen atom emitted photons which have the same spectra as a hydrogen atom emits on Earth today. The laws of physics are at least constant over billions of years.

Religion has nothing to do with science, and science cannot speak about religion--since science needs evidence, and religion can't supply evidence to back up its claims.

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger Underground Logician said...

Shaw:

Sorry to tell you, but I know what "infallible" means. My choice of using it was deliberate and meant to mock the general populace's faith in science, which makes declarations that require as much faith as any religion. No, I will not retract it.

Anytime a "study" is in the news where "experts" or "scientists" or "researchers" have concluded something spectacular, like "Jesus was married," boy the press is on it like flies on garbage.

I'm going to keep my post the way it is. Thanks for letting me know, though.

 

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